Feldenkrais way of life 4: Hold the goal lightly
Previously, I thought that setting a goal was the finish line for learning, but I now see it as the starting point of the learning journey, with the end being infinitely open.
Work on the legs to relax my eyes?
After one Feldenkrais Function Integration session with my teacher Gisele, I asked her with a ton of puzzlement:
“I came into the session with the complaint about my eye strain. Why did you spend a lot of time working on my legs? Did you see some connection between these two things? How could you know that working on my legs will relax my eyes?”
I can’t accurately recall her full answer, but one thing she said really stuck with me: you can have some goals and plans for how to achieve that goals, yet hold them lightly.
Don’t fixate on one goal.
Don’t push when the plan doesn’t give you the results you want.
My current understanding of the process is like this:
she observed some patterns of how I use my eyes, as well as how I use my head and neck when turning the eyes to the left and right
She then had a hypothesis that one side of my shoulder was not able to move flexibly. This could be contributing to the trouble in my neck and head, and maybe even my eyes.
She started to work on my shoulders, but hey, they were unwilling to change!
She then checked how my legs connect to my shoulders and, BAM, some changes happened easily! Now my legs are more connected through the hip and pelvis to my shoulders!
And then many other things happened with my hip, my pelvis, my ribs…My eyes were not attended to specifically, yet towards the end of that session, I could turn my eyes more smoothly.
This process doesn't fit into my scientific problem-solving framework. If it were up to me, I would list five possible reasons why a person's eyes are straining, test each reason, and determine the best explanation for the phenomenon. Throughout the whole process, I’d be thinking about “eyes, eyes, eyes!”.
Yet the process of just “lightly holding the goal” instead of focusing on how to fix the eyes also worked in my case.
Why is this magic possible?
Trusting the system
When learning Feldenkrais, I often hear people say, "Improving one part of the system will inevitably improve the whole system."
And that’s the key for somatic work, in my opinion: everything is so interconnected, that some changes in the feet could be affecting the jaw. There are too many variables to strive for a complete analytical solution. Instead, you must remain sensitive to find a new place where changes are willing to happen, which can help address any complaints. Of course, it’s important to have knowledge of common movement patterns that can help you identify the changeable parts more quickly. However, the reassuring lesson for beginners like myself is that, even without a clear plan for specific goals, you can trust the system to find ways to improve.
To a certain extent, this philosophy challenges the way I approach learning. While it's good to have a goal, it shouldn't limit my learning experience to the point where I only focus on things that will exclusively contribute to this goal. I don’t want to disregard the bigger picture, which is to improve the whole system: my body and my life.
For example, when attending a Feldenkrais session with the goal of improving my eyes, I can hold that goal lightly and remain open and curious about what else I can learn about myself through the lesson.
Previously, I thought that setting a goal was the finish line for learning, but I now see it as the starting point of the learning journey, with the end being infinitely open.
Application in life
In the past, I've talked about how my uncontrollable emotional eating has caused issues in my life and my gut.
The good news is that I've managed to go a whole week without snacking outside of regular meals! However, I didn't actively work on improving my self-discipline or practicing mindful eating. In fact, I didn't even think about eating a lot.
What changed for me was making the decision to commit more of my time and energy to become an effective Feldenkrais teacher. This meant that I stopped hesitating about how much time I could invest in my passion versus "doing more lucrative job stuff". I am constantly learning new and exciting things in this realm. Additionally, I have talked to more people about my interest in Feldenkrais and holistic growth, and have spent much more time exchanging thoughts and questions. As a result, I often feel refreshed and connected.
Overall, I am living a much happier life. I no longer feel down and empty so often, thus I do not need as much food for comfort as I used to.
At the same time, me being me and my habits being my habits, I still have many other goals…
I want to financially support myself by teaching Feldenkrais and doing all the somatic-related work.
I want to more consistently write blogs or produce podcasts on this topic. One article / podcast a week is my goal.
These are all exciting goals that I will hold lightly. They are the starting points, the hypotheses that guide my daily life. Yet, I won't beat myself up if I can't reach the goals, or exclusively focus on them without attending to my other interests and needs.
I am a holistic system capable of experiencing unbounded growth.
Have you ever improved something by doing something seemingly unrelated? Share your experiences in the comments below!